Monday, August 26, 2013

Blogging with a Purpose: I Said I Would Never...

I have had a lot of experience with children, young and small, in my 25 years. I have also seen a wide variety of parenting styles and types of relationships. However, although I was able to tweak the last couple of weeks of "motherhood" related topics, this week I decided to reach out to my sister-in-laws. I think we all have this idea of what the perfect mother would look like, and have a mental list of all the things we should and shouldn't do, or see someone else treating their child a certain way and think "well, I would never do that." But you know what, life happens. There will come a day when you are so tired of hearing child cry that you will give up and resort to the pacifier, or let them have ice cream for dinner.

Here are some of my sister-in-laws' responses:
*Bribe my children with a toy or candy in order to get them to behave in a store
*Use the TV as a babysitter
*Let my baby sleep in my bed {sometimes that's the only way they will sleep...and Momma needs her sleep!}
*Let them run around naked outside while playing in the water

After the great feedback I got from them, I decided to reach out to some friends who have kids, as well.
*Lay my baby on their tummy until they can roll over
*Base my child's milestones on other children's {this friend actually stuck to this one-you've got to let your kids do things in your own time}
*Mix up the babies {this came from a Momma of}

The responses from one of my friends were so amazing, I couldn't begin to summarize them, so I'm quoting her instead:

     "I said I would never be one of those moms that lets their kid walk around with a binkie. For a long time we weren't. Binkie was just for naptimes and bedtime. But with our recent move, she has decided she absolutely has to have it when we are just hanging out in the house. We have tried to take it away, twice, and both times she has screamed until she puked because she got so worked up. It isn't such a huge deal once I remember she isn't even two. If it gives her some extra comfort then fine. I've never seen a college student using one so I think we'll let it slide for now.
     I could never figure out how some stay at home moms could keep their houses spotless, while others... not so much. They were home all day. Why couldn't they just keep it clean? Now I totally get it. My living room is clean from 9pm until 8am. I used to pick up after my daughter religiously, then she became a toddler, and toddler is just slang for little tornado. If the toys aren't strung out all over, there is probably the remnants from a blanket fort or bits of breakfast that she hid in her pocket and discovered a few hours later. Toddlers are gross. Toddlers live in your house. Adios clean, orderly house.
     I still refuse to do a toddler leash, but I can see where they could come in handy. It gets exhausting saying "hold Mommy's hand please" or "stay right here please" and never being listened to."

I decided to try one more perspective: friends who do not have kids yet. 
*Compare one of my children to another, or play favorites
*Dress in drag as I escort my child on a date to a school function

When I asked Tristan this question, he said that he would never make his kids feel like they weren't loved.

I completely agree with him. It would break my heart if my kids ever thought that. While I want my kids to feel loved, though, I also am not going to be the parent who does absolutely everything and agrees to anything just to keep my kids happy. I don't think it hurts them to not get their way or to be punished if they do something they know they aren't supposed to. They need to learn some discipline and responsibility or else they will end up spoiled and think the world is there to serve them. The challenge is going to be to find a happy medium.

Thank you to my friends who pitched in to help me pull together this post. I loved getting all of your comments!

To see what some of the other momma's in blogger-land have to say about this, click over to From Mrs. to Mama.


UPDATE: I just saw that one of my favorite link-ups is starting up again today. So I wanted to make sure to get in on that. If you have never participated, 5 for Five is a great way to keep yourself accountable in your goals for the week.

1. Get caught up *and keep up* on the laundry. This is one of my biggest challenges when it comes to my role as a "housewife." When you work outside the home full time, and have other activities (such as blogging and photography) that also demand your attention, not to mention taking time to make your significant other feel loved, it is so easy to let things like the dishes and laundry slide and slowly pile up. Not. this. week.

2. Plan out next week's blog posts. I love the feeling of having all of my posts for the week already scheduled. It makes me feel accomplished.

3. Work out at least 4 times. I have a second work-friend that now goes to my gym and I am hoping that will help motivate me to go. However, there are a couple of evenings that I have plans after work so I will have to work extra hard to get out of bed and go in the morning.

4. Drink 8 glasses of water EVERY DAY. I am so bad about drinking enough water. I have been better about not drinking much soda, but I feel so much better when my body is fully hydrated.

5. Write down daily tasks, and stick to them. Writing things down is a huge motivation for me to get them done. I love checking things off a list.

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  1. This post turned out great! You do have to remember that even though you want to be their friend, you are first a parent. Discipline is a must, but never let them forget that they are LOVED!!!!!

  2. Great post! I'm gonna check out that 5 for 5 linkup too!


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